THE FILM RIGHTS FOR THIS PAGE
Hello. If you would like to buy the film rights for this page they are still available, at least up to the point of publication they were available. Obviously if we’ve sold the film rights to this page since publication then they will no longer be available, unless of course you make a better offer than the one we have accepted already – that is, provided we have sold them already. We might not have done. They might still be available. However if they have been sold, there is still a chance you can increase the offer, providing of course we haven’t exchanged contracts with the people who might have made the initial purchase, and in that way YOU can have the film rights to this page. If, of course we have exchanged contracts then you still have a chance through hidden clauses or tricky loops in the contracts which may make it possible for us to dodge the first agreement legally.
So, having made this offer you can now sit back content with your new “property” as the film people call these things. Of course, you are going to ask how you can be sure that once having bought the film rights from us for this page, we won’t then sell them off again to the next highest bidder or through a tricky loop in the contract do you out of your rights. Well, you can’t. That’s the film world. You might as well accept that from the beginning and get a good lawyer. But for a while, at least, YOU can be the proud owner of the film rights for this page.
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This paragraph (quoted with respect) is borrowed from “The Brand New Monty Python Papperbok”, page 6